Begging Made Easy! I had never heard of requesting money from strangers for something as trivial as a bikini contest. Then someone told me about it. Had to be a joke, right? Nope, it wasn’t. On GoFundMe.com you’ll find numerous requests for donations to support bikini competitions. Google “GoFundMe bikini competition” and you’ll see how common it is. If you’re not familiar with GoFundMe, it’s a crowdfunding platform typically used to raise money for charities, disaster relief, and people with illnesses. Or at least it used to be. Then the wannabe bikini competitors moved in, sharing their sob stories and begging for your money. Because, you know, competing in a T I’m saying don’t perpetuate a problem. If you toss some broad 50 bucks with no return on your investment, you’re only furthering the freewheeling entitlement and false reality that this is a worthy pursuit. No one should finance that shit. If she needed the money, and actually wanted to earn it, she could be taking on second and third jobs like dog walking, babysitting, or cleaning houses for twenty bucks an hour. In fact, make that offer! Ask her to clean your house for fifty bucks. I’ll bet you fifty bucks that she’ll decline. That’d be beneath her. Digital Panhandling Unfortunately, on a more sophisticated level, panhandling can be a lucrative thing. I knew a guy back in the day who was bringing home $600 a week in cash panhandling in Venice. At the time, I was bringing home $500 working construction! With such a generous society, this odd phenomenon has metastasized to the shameful degree that you can now beg – successfully – for money online. I imagine this was just a natural progression in today’s maligned world of entitlement and bizarre expectations that technology would enable people to succumb to their lazy and entitled impulses, and provide them with a platform that amounts to digital panhandling. The most egregious of which is, in my opinion, GoFundMe. Unlike platforms such as GiveForward, which raises money for expenses related to illness or injuries, or Kickstarter and Indiegogo, which seek investment in business, charity, and artistic pursuits, GoFundMe caters to snowflakes looking to raise money for just about anything, including fake tits and sponsorship for a first bikini competition. When you do a Google search for “GoFundMe bikini competition” you’ll get over 900,000 results. And they’re fascinating to read. When you click on them they go something like this… “Hi everyone! Well, I decided that after training for the past 6 weeks it’s time to enter a NPC bikini competition. I was kinda shocked to see how much it would cost, especially those crystal-studded suits, hair extensions, and a boob job, lol! “So I’m reaching out to see if anyone would be willing to sponsor my fitness journey by contributing to this fund. $3,000 covers almost all of my costs including the entry fee, the suit and shoes, hair, makeup artist, trainer, diet coach, posing coach, chiropractor, life coach, all my food, supplements, and a few different colors of Six Pack coolers to match my gym outfits. “And now after WEEKS of grueling training, my fitness journey has brought me here. And I want to be able to bring my best package to the stage. I use my Instagram page to be an inspiration for others (meal plans available). And I will give you a shout-out there. You can’t help but see my love and dedication to building the best package on the planet. So thank you for taking the time to read my story and a bigger thank you for your donations!” Go Fund Your… Boobs? Now, not all bikini girls ask for money for boob jobs, but enough girls have used GoFundMe and similar donation sites for that purpose that you can link the two together. Really, it’s all the same entitled bullshit, no different than asking someone to buy them a car because they’re tired of walking the four blocks to the gym. Secondly, there isn’t a single philanthropically-minded dude out there who’s going to finance all that body work and stuff it into a thong without “visitation rights.” If such rights are indeed discussed and an agreement of sorts is made, you have ostensibly created a transaction known as “prostitution.” And if you don’t think that happens in our beloved little world, I have a nice bridge to sell you. No woman wants to be considered a whore. Be that as it may, if you take a guy’s money for all your contest needs, and in return offer him unfettered access to the most intimate corners of your nook and cranny, honey, you a ho. The last thing our industry needs is more hoes, but prostitution has many faces. I know for a fact that there are ladies in our industry who’ve sold some visitation rights, or traded for the odd “session” that has a happy ending for at least one of the parties involved. There used to be a crowdfunding site specifically for breast augmentations. It introduced guys willing to finance the augmentation to the panhandler and her chest. In what can
Origin: Go Fund Yourself!